Four ways to make others feel important contd
- Think other people are important.
- Notice people.
3. Don’t compete with people. This requires some discipline as you are human and you have the same need to feel important that everyone else does. You must watch yourself that this doesn’t backfire on you. The basic fact is everyone needs to feel important and to feel that others recognize their importance. This trait of human nature is in itself neutral. You can use it to your own advantage or disadvantage…just as you can use the knife to butter your bread or cut your throat.
The temptation is always present when we are dealing with others to impress upon them our own importance. Consciously or unconsciously, we want to make a good impression.
If someone tells us of some great feat he performed, we at once think of something that was even greater. If someone tells us a good story, right away we think of one that could top it. Often, we are so anxious to impress others with our own importance that we can make them feel small so that we will appear larger.
This is one simple rule that will help you get over this handicap: If you want to make a good impression on others, the most effective way is to let them know that you are impressed by them. Let them know that they impress you, and they will judge you one of the smartest, most personable individuals they have met. If you compete with them, and they’ll be firmly convinced that you are a fool who doesn’t know his way around.
4. Know when to correct others. Usually, when we correct or contradict others, it is not for the purpose of settling any real problems. It’s usually to increase our feeling of importance at the expense of others.
Ask yourself: “Does it make any real difference whether they are right or wrong? Don’t try to win all the little battles. If nothing is involved except the other person’s ego, why bother? The negative impact you create far outweighs the small victory for your own ego.
Tomorrow, I will share about our unconscious habit of controlling the actions and attitudes of others.
I hope you are enjoying these posts and learning the Art of Dealing with People in your life.